How I'd Do: A Killer Klown Sequel

Killer Klown in Outer Space

By: Christopher Musick

Based on the film Killer Klowns from Outer Space By: Stephen, Edward, and Charles Chiodo

Synopsis:

In the distant future humans no longer live on Earth instead the last of humanity now lives on a space station called the Terramech. The Chiodo is an analysis ship whose purpose is to scout out any worlds that have the potential to become the new Earth. When heading back to the Terramech from another long and disappointing mission they are sent on a detour when there is activity detected on a nearby moon that may suggest a sustainable environment. When they arrive all they find is the crashed remains of a ship the likes of which they’ve never seen. Amongst the wreckage they also come across the unconscious body of what appears to be a man dressed as a clown.

They bring it on board much to the dismay of the medical officer Rose who has a fear of clowns. Rose immediately tries to get all the clown stuff off the unconscious body so she can do some more tests but she can’t. After further analysis she informs the captain of the Chiodo Captain Wayne that the clown doesn’t have human DNA and that its rainbow hair, bright white skin, and big red nose are all natural. While she reports this the Klown wakes up and encounters a crew member stationed there to keep an eye on it. The Klown acts playful to the Crew Member and starts doing the old “quarter behind your ear” trick but instead of finding a coin the Klown just rips his ear off. The crew member panics and screams before choking on something. The Klown shoves its hand down the crew member’s throat and rips it out along with a coin. The Klown then leaves the corpse of the crew member behind as it continues to wander around the ship.

Rose, Captain Wayne, and the ship’s “class clown” crew member Barney find the aftermath of the Klown attack. Barney notices a small trail of popcorn leading away from the scene and so they follow it. Along the way Barney’s curiosity gets the better of him and he eats one of the pieces of popcorn off the ground. At first he’s fine until his feet start to ache like his shoes are too small and then Captain Wayne tells him that he is looking pale. Barney runs to a nearby bathroom in a panic after pulling a bright purple hair from his head. Barney stares at himself in the mirror watching in horror as his skin loses its pigment, turning white and his nose starts to swell and turn red. He hesitantly touches his swollen nose and it lets out a loud & silly sounding HONK! Barney screams out in terror and his chest begins to each like crazy. He rips off his shirt and sees something growing out of his chest. Suddenly the pedals of a flower pop out creating clown’s joke lapel that begins squirting blood instead of water. Unable to cope with his horrific transformation, Barney spaces himself before Rose can stop him.

Eventually the Klown makes its way through the rest of the crew until Rose and Captain Wayne are left to hunt the Klown down together. They find it in the bowels of the ship where it has cocooned most of the crew in some kind of Cotton Candy. They watch as the Klown takes handfuls of the juicy red Cotton Candy and eats it, savoring its flavor. Others cocoons have people that are still preserved and alive. The Klown goes to them, sets a piece of popcorn in their mouths then buries them deeper into Cotton Candy.